Transition

June was a month of transition. Finals -> graduation -> vacation -> solo time -> preparation for packing. Just a month ago almost to the day of this posting, I was filled with emotion, excitement, and relief - I had accomplished two jam-packed years of graduate school, my loved ones were all around, and I prepared myself to walk across the stage for graduation. Business school was a mission and challenge that felt totally overwhelming to me two Septembers ago when I first began this journey. If I'm honest with myself, I guess I knew I would make it, but I imagined I was more going to scrape by, struggle my way through. Not only did I survive, but I overcame in ways that revealed strengths and confidence I didn't have before. I learned more about my likes and dislikes, what makes me happy and gives me energy, and how to build and maintain meaningful relationships from all phases of my life. I am incredibly grateful for the opportunities I encountered throughout graduate school, and I so fully appreciate all of those people who supported me through the testing waters.

As I transition out of that life, I've been thinking more and more about how to stay in touch with others. What kinds of relationships do people find valuable when they are apart? Do people enjoy receiving email updates? Messages that they know don't have to be returned? What about handwritten letters or care packages? Or what about just the occasional meme, or heads up I'll be visiting and to meet up in person?

Is a friendship only maintained when you have an active and regular blend of phone calls, Skype sessions, emails, text messages, Instagram message tags? Do we all have enough time to sustain relationships with all the people we care about this way? Maybe text-based communication just serves to tie you over until the next time when you can visit in person, and the true effort should be made for in-person visits with those you care about. We all say enjoy traveling, right? Maybe I can accept acquaintances who message once in a while and even ask for a favor.

When I think about the friends I stay in touch with and the types of relationships we have, I value those who can challenge me. Of course, I want to hear updates on each of my friend's lives and know how they are doing on an emotional and psychological level. But I also want to be challenged - intellectually and emotionally . To rekindle the dinner or late-night conversations over lectures, readings, news that we shared for endless hours. Getting into pseudo-debates or just sharing different perspectives based on our different upbringings and past experiences. I know and feel that's when my life is truly enriched, and it feels like that is the type of communication that has been lost in this world. When we can really engage one another, hear each other out, even when you don't completely agree or understand another's position, but still fully respect and love the person sitting across from you.

I think that's the hardest part of the transition, when I reflect back on the friends I have from previous stages of life - high school, college. When you "keep in touch", friendships seem relegated to the life updates type of conversation. By the time you're 30 minutes or an hour in, it's time to get off the phone. It's sometimes even hard to remember all that has happened since the last time you spoke with someone, and there are periods of silence as you attempt to collect your thoughts, anchored to the last catch up phone call you had.

So the thought this month is about how I should transition in-person friendships into the virtual, long-distance realm. Maybe I can use emails as brief updates, to help move phone and in-person conversations along more quickly to the deeper stuff. I also feel that me starting this website is an attempt to record some of the deeper topics that I have been mulling over to start conversations on a different foot. At least for the people who care to read all of my babbling.